The Air We Breathe

I returned from Kathmandu late last night. More on my other-worldly experiences there and in India and Tibet to follow. Today, I want to share the news that my Peace Corps odyssey has come to an end. I debated whether to write a post about it. I don’t want to discourage anyone who’s currently in, or thinking about joining, Peace Corps. And I’d be a liar if I said I don’t care about being judged for backing out of something I had planned to do. Those concerns are outweighed by my desire to put my genuine self – the good, the bad and the ugly – into my posts, in the hope of helping someone who’s going through a similar experience. So here goes.

When I decided to apply for Peace Corps, I pictured myself living in a village or small city in South America, habla-ing Espanol, and helping people improve their skills and education to make their lives better. I put South America as my preference on my Peace Corps application and started investigating places to brush up on my Spanish skills. During my Peace Corps interview, I was told they only send people to South America who are already fluent in Spanish.

I was nominated to teach English at a university in China. Anxious to learn more about what that experience would be like, I searched for books about volunteering for Peace Corps in China. I hit the jackpot with Kosher Chinese: Living, Teaching, and Eating with China’s Other Billion, by Michael Levy (the “Kosher” part referring to the fact that Levy is Jewish). Levy liked his experience in China. The intent of his book is not to discourage people from joining Peace Corps.

But Levy wrote about things that were news to me. Did you know that sixteen of the world’s twenty most polluted cities are in China? That nearly 200 Chinese cities fail to meet minimal air quality standards? And that fifty percent of China’s rivers and lakes are so polluted that they’re not even fit for industrial usage, and ninety percent of China’s urban groundwater is contaminated?

Levy describes his airplane’s “slow descent into a brown soup of pollution” and an “industrial nightmare” in Chengdu (the capital city of the Sichuan province and Peace Corp’s headquarters in China):

“I imagined the capillary veins in my lungs recoiling in horror as breath after contracted breath dumped carcinogenic particulate matter into my previously healthy chest cavity. It wouldn’t be long before my Chinese teacher would tell me that smoking cigarettes was actually healthy because it prepared one’s lungs for Chinese air. The tobacco, she insisted, served as a vaccine against the smog. This seemed far-fetched to me, though I reconsidered my convictions after the Peace Corp nurse advised us to cease all exercise. An increased heart rate, she warned us, would lead to deeper breathing which, in Chengdu, meant a more profoundly damaged cardiovascular system. Best to sit and smoke, perhaps.”

This seemed far-fetched to me, too. How could any country, especially a world power like China, be in such horrendous environmental condition in 2012? Then the Universe handed me a gift. I went for my annual physical at Northwestern and my regular doctor was on vacation. I saw another doctor who recently returned from several years of living in China.

She confirmed the dangers of breathing Chinese air. After living in China for two years, a CT scan of my lungs would look like that of a life-long smoker. Knowing that I’m on Synthroid (a prescription thyroid medication), she also told me about her mistake of getting a prescription filled in China. Many commonly used U.S. medications aren’t available in China, or don’t contain the same ingredients, or are counterfeit. She became seriously ill from the prescription medication and had to return to the U.S. for several months of detox.

Not exercising or taking my thyroid meds for two years would be compounded by what Levy describes as the “oil heavy” Chinese diet, consisting of “fried dough for breakfast every morning and piles of greasy meats for lunch and dinner” (something  I experienced first hand during my week in Tibet, which is officially — albeit very, very sadly — part of China). And the meat frequently comes from man’s best friend. Lassie. Rover. Toto. Levy describes walking past the “Dog Meat King” every day on his way to his classroom: “Its name – as well as the carcasses that dangled in its windows – made me pretty sure they weren’t serving chicken.”

Not. What. I. Bargained. For.

Sometimes that thing you’re pursuing with all of your energy turns out not to be the right thing for you. But if you’re lucky, and if you’re open to it, you learn from the journey. You learn about yourself, the world, and what truly matters in life. In this case, I learned that while I was willing to sacrifice my material possessions, I’m not willing to sacrifice my health. I also learned how lucky we are to find ourselves living in a place where we can step outside and breathe the air without worrying about what our CT scans will look like as a result.

I still have visions of going to South America for volunteer work. Only this time I plan to go to Guatemala in 2013 to help build schools from recycled materials with an organization called Save The World Today (featured in an article in the September 2012 edition of Oprah’s “O” magazine). Did I mention they don’t eat dogs in Guatemala?

Path to Purpose Part 1: Inspiration

Finding and fulfilling your purpose — some might call it dharma — is what life is all about. Yet many people never find the path to purpose, or they get lost along the way, sidetracked by other things, or frozen in place by fear. This is part one of a three-part series, inspired by my dad, about the people and resources I’ve found to be excellent companions to get and keep you on the path to purpose. Part 1 is inspiration, followed by exploration, and finally execution.

As a German-Polish, recovering-Catholic Midwestian, I never expected an evangelistic southern preacher to inspire me to do the hard work necessary to fulfill my purpose in life. I basically equated the phrase “evangelical preacher” with Jim and Tammy Faye Baker, not exactly inspirational. And yet, that’s exactly what T.D. Jakes did through his appearances on Oprah Winfrey’s Life Class and Next Chapter, and his book called Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits.

T.D. Jakes on Life Class

Jakes is pastor of The Potter’s House, a “mega church” in Dallas, Texas. While his talks are based on Bible stories, his messages resonate with all human beings, regardless of religious beliefs. Everyone will take something different away from listening to him speak. Here are the valuable messages I gained from listening to Jakes on Life Class:

  • If you’re not living your life on purpose, you’re just wasting time. (Guilty as charged.)
  • Passion and purpose are partners. (I hadn’t felt either as a driver in my life for quite some time.)
  • There’s nothing worse than working in an area where you have no passion, even if you have talent in that area. Talent and passion/purpose are not the same things. (Aha! I have talent for my current job, but no passion.)
  • If you’re the person in the room that everyone goes to for answers, it’s time to move into a new room! Go into a room that makes you dream again, think again, read again, learn again,  a room with people who make deposits and not just withdrawals in your life. (Definitely time for me to move into a new room.)
  • Move into the territory where you have passion, even if you’re not sure exactly what you want to do there. Do something you’ve never done before. Put yourself in an environment that’s conducive to where you want to go. (This is what I’ve started doing, and I can’t tell you how good and right it feels, like being born again.)
  • You may need to take baby steps, and wait for the payback. Don’t be impatient. (Still working on this one. Patience isn’t my strong suit.)
  • To live on purpose, you have to fully invest, and have courage to take risks. (So true!  Without courage to change, we can be stuck in the dreadful no-passion zone for life.)

Jakes on Repositioning Yourself

After watching Jakes on Life Class, I read his book called Reposition Yourself. One of the stories he writes about is that of  Jesus instructing Peter – after a long, hard and unsuccessful night of fishing – to go into more dangerous, deeper waters and try again. If my Catholic priest would’ve explained Bible stories like this, I would’ve gone to church every day and twice on Sundays:

“It’s interesting that Jesus tells Peter to ‘put out into deep water’ as if perhaps he has been casting in the shallows. Sometimes it’s easy for us to stay in the safety of shallow water, splashing and casting, wading and wandering around, without ever risking deeper water. We stay in our current position rather than asking for a promotion or applying elsewhere. We resign ourselves to our present relationship even after it’s clear to both parties that it’s going nowhere. The shallow water feels so much safer – we can both see and touch the bottom of the pool. But this apparent security also imposes limitations and keeps us moored in the safe harbor. Just as in Peter’s case, we often have to discover the hard way that the deeper water holds the fish!”

As Jakes explains, to get out into the deeper water and find the fish, you need the right crew on your boat:

“I challenge you to begin to design an environment that is conducive to where you are going. Most of us are stuck because we live in an environment that is based on where we have been. We may even cling to places from the past and ‘retro’ relationships that retard our progress. A healthy environment must include people who will support and encourage you, challenge and stimulate you. …. Do you have the right people around you for where you are going? Identify those who are navigationally right for you and build those relationships.”

Even if you’re monetarily successful, you can’t let that hold you back from going into the deep waters to pursue your purpose:

“Are you willing to humble yourself and do what’s required to attain your goals of success in all areas of your life? Will you allow yourself to act like a kid again, to think outside the box and to go beyond the socially acceptable behavior for someone of your stature? Too often we allow our success in life to hem us in and create a new set of limitations that really aren’t much different from the old ones, only with more expensive taste! We think that just because we can afford to wear an Armani suit and drive a Mercedes that we no longer need to look ahead and see where we need to be next. …. What does it matter what you have to show for your success if who you truly were meant to be remains hidden?”

Jakes’ words inspired me to start living my life on purpose, to take risks, and to move into a “new room” that’s conducive to where I want to go. If you’ve been casting in the shallows like me (and Peter) and need some inspiration to go into the deep waters, Jakes can help take you there, too.